The Elaine Benes
by BrokenBoneWorld
Summary: Bella dances, and possibly puts a few eyes out.


**This is my attmempt at humor. HaHa. Sorry, but this was written and 2 'o' clock, and I haven't slept for a day and a half. There is a good chance that it won't be even remotely funny, but hey, it was worth a try! Besides, I laughed when I wrote it, but that was might have been from the whole Lack Of Sleep thing. **

Bella stood in her room, jiving out to Edward's iPod. The earbuds wear on the verge off falling out, from all her head banging and thrashing. She was jumping around doing the occasional Elaine Benes kick, even adding in the thumb jerking when warranted.

Edward stood in her doorway, watching all of this, with a huge smirk on his face. She slowed her head banging and thrashing, as a new song came on. He had no idea what song it was, but she took a jump to the left. And then a step to the right. She put her hands on her hips, and brought her knees in tight. She started pelvic thrusting. And then she did it all again.

Then Edward realized what his love was doing. She was doing the Time Warp. He bit down on his fist to keep from laughing out loud. His entire body was shaking. She continued to do this, for some four minutes, until she started a new dance. She put her hands out in front of her, and turned them over. Then she put them to her shoulders. This dance he recognized instantly. She was doing the Macarena. She did the first quarter turn, clapped her hands, and then did it over again.

Bella started shimmying aimlessly as she waited for the song to some to a close. He calmed down enough to appreciate her shimmying skills.

She was facing him, still shimmying without relent on poor Edward, who by now was averting his gaze, examining with great detail the pattern of wood on her doorframe. When his peripheral vision told him that she had stopped torturing him with the shimmying, he thought that it was safe to look again. She froze.

For a terrifying second, he thought that he had been caught spying on Bella's amazing dancing abilities by herself.

But no; she jutted her hip to one side, put her hand on her hip, and pointed at it with the other. She alternated between pointing at her hip and the lamp in the corner of her room. Her eyes were squinted as she mouthed along to the song. She started singing quietly, soon giving way to yelling the words to the song, almost tunelessly. She took her hand off her hip, and made an imaginary microphone. As if she really needed it. Edward was starting to worry for his hearing. She started singing, or more _shrieking_ "AND IF YOUR HEART STOPS BEATING, I'LL BE WONDERING, DID YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE?, THE ENDING OF YOUR LIFE, AND IF YOU GET TO HEAVEN, I'LL BE WAITING, BABE, DID YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE?" Bella started shimmying with the half of her that wasn't holding the "microphone". Edward decided that it was time to leave the room, for the sake of his sanity, if nothing else. Any more shimmying and eyes might be put out. He quietly made his way downstairs to find Charlie relaxed on the couch.

"What's so funny?" He asked in a slightly intimidating way.

Edward started to snicker.

"Sir, I believe that you must see it for yourself." He pointed towards the stairs. Charlie raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips, but he did go upstairs. He clomped up the stairs so loudly, that Edward was amazed that Bella didn't notice.

He heard a boom of laughter, followed immediately by a loud, high pitched shriek. Bella's door slammed, and Charlie came stumbling down the stairs, doubled over in laughter.

He tried to form a few words, but all that came out was incomprehensible stutters.

After several minutes, and two relapses into giggles (Edward was a little disturbed at the sight of Charlie giggling), He managed to squeeze out "Bella says that she'll see you tomorrow."

Edward chuckled and headed towards the door. When he got home, Emmett was doing a perfect impression of Bella dancing, courtesy of Alice's second sight. Bella didn't step into that house without blushing for a month.

**Again, my apologies if it wasn't that great. I like to hear from you guys, even if it is criticism. And, that song Bella was singing, was Dead! by My Chemical Romance. It is made of win, you need to go listen to it.**

**Yellah, I want you to know, that this was written especially for you and Julio. I was thinking about you guys the entire time I was writing it.**


End file.
